**(per Kam) i die**

Fudge Puddles a.k.a "Puddles of Yum"













For the "crust" of the cookie:
1/2 c. butter, softened
1/2 c. creamy peanut butter
1/2 c. sugar
1/2 c. packed brown sugar
1 egg
1/2 t. vanilla extract
1-1/4 c. all-purpose flour
3/4 t. baking soda
1/2 t. salt

In a large mixer bowl, combine butter, peanut butter, and both sugars. Beat in egg and vanilla:













Next, in a seperate bowl, mix the flour, baking soda, and salt. Gradually add flour mix. to the creamy mixture:













Chill in the fridge for at least one hour (or if you're impatient like me, in the freezer for about 15 minutes).













Remove from fridge and form into 1" balls. I use a small melon baller scoop to make mine a uniform size. Grease a mini-muffin pan and add 1 ball to each muffin cup:













Bake in a 325 degree oven for about 15 minutes or until very lightly browned. Remove from oven and make an indentation in the center of each ball:













Filling:
1 c. semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 c. butterscotch chips (if you don't like butterscotch, just use milk chocolate chips)
1-14 oz. can sweetened condensed milk
1 t. vanilla
chopped nuts or sprinkles(optional)

In a microwave safe bowl or saucepan, combine all of the ingredients except the nuts/sprinkles. Microwave for 1 minutes. Stir well.













If there are still unmelted chips, continue to melt in microwave for 15 second increments until all smooth:













Immediately start filling the cookie cups with the filling. It will start to harden just a bit as you do it, so make sure to give it a good stir once in awhile. Sprinkle with the nuts or just leave plain. Let set for an hour or so.














peace.

**and just a pinch of chaos**

life is really good, with just a pinch of chaos thrown in for good measure. keeps me on my toes i guess. that's a good thing, right? with all that is going on in my life right now i have had to take a big girl pill and start doing everything on my own. seems strange but good at the same time. how odd.

cj got his permit to drive yesterday. gasp!! the thought of him driving scares me more than bailey but teaching him is way easier. i had to turn over the teaching to roberto for bailey because i just couldn't handle it. cj is a different story. at least he doesn't have to learn on the big ford expedition that i had.

i learned that you can't just 'remove' a person from a loan. the loan needs to be paid off or one person needs to refinance it. well, we happened to be upside down in the expedition due to the SUV market/value taking a nose dive because of the gas prices. so, the only way i could have a car in my own name was to trade the expedition in on a new car that had enough dealer discounts to hide the amount of the 'upside-down-ness' so the bank would still approve a loan for the car. so, i now have a rockin' new car for the exact same price per month as the last one. i do owe for more years but, um, i will always have a car payment because, well, that's how i roll. so, here is my car:













cj is thrilled to be able to drive it and personally i am more at ease having to teach him on this rather than the other.

so, while i am still working out the way i like to style it and it is definitely a work-in-progress between me and my hairdresser i did say i would post a picture of my short haircut. here it is:

















i had danea fix the picture up a little bit because i currently don't have my photoshop program loaded on my computer. she teased me and said "As for your picture, I did my best. So you weren't skilled enough to just place your finger on the shutter button AND look forward? LOL" ha ha very funny. brat.

with all of the changes in my life right now i have put my last course of school off until the first of the year. i have GOT to get my scraproom/office cleaned up and organized before then. i have decided to purge my cardstock. i have waaaaaayyyy too much (i know, big frickin' shocker there) and i tend to only use a few basic colors anyway. once i do that i won't need the paper tower that i have and i think i might have enough room there to put a small work table. i do mean small but it could work. we'll see.

i took some really cool pictures of bailey and her 2 best friends. the 3 of them are always together. it's so cool. apparently you can purchase a spot in the back of the yearbook to add a picture or a message or something. the girls want to add a picture of the 3 of them so they had me take some 'fun' pictures of them. now mind you, i am NO, and i mean NO, seriously, NO angela or danea but i took the girls over to my mom's and we took pictures in her yard. we got some really cute ones out of about 50 or so shots. i don't know which one they picked but i really liked these two and asked danea if she would work her magic and spruce them up for me. she's the best.





























becky is the blonde and kelsie is the brunette. they are the sweetest girls. bailey is very lucky to have such awesome friends. and i am lucky, too, that my daughter is blessed with great friends. i couldn't have asked for better ones.

i have been invited to a halloween costume party next weekend. i am going to go. i am going to dress up. way out of my element. i wasn't able to find the costume that i had in my head and since i don't sew i had to pick a different one. so, i am going with this:

















i didn't go with the wig so i am going to have to figure out what to do with my hair and i am sure i have a pair of appropriate black shoes. i did buy the ripped up tights because they are just too cool. putting on that much black eye make-up will be a challenge. anne, are you up for a challenge??

i think i will leave you with a couple funnies.














peace.

**fun stuff that i love**

these rock! i see a lot of companies have them now but the ones from Pier One are the best. this scent, Amber, is one of my favorites. my front bathroom is decorated in taupe and burnt orange so it matches so well.














one of the sales ladies at Bath & Body Works told me that these, which i have quite a few of, are being replaced....


















....by these. i purchased one starter set to test them and they rock! i think they are better than the other ones. they had the starter sets and the refill sets on sale a few weeks ago so i got a few more in the yummy fall scents and now my house smells awesome. i don't like to burn candles so these are just perfect.

















peace.

**the cab ride**

one of my favorite sites is DOOCE and i read it every day. today she linked to a sweet story that really got to me. i wanted to share it so here it is.

The Cab Ride I'll Never Forget
by Kent Nerburn

Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. One time I arrived in the middle of the night for a pick up at a building that was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window. Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, then drive away. But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself.

So I walked to the door and knocked. "Just a minute," answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

"Would you carry my bag out to the car?" she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness.

"It's nothing," I told her. "I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated."

"Oh, you're such a good boy," she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, then asked, "Could you drive through downtown?"

"It's not the shortest way," I answered quickly.

"Oh, I don't mind," she said. "I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice."

I looked in the rear view mirror. Her eyes were glistening.

"I don't have any family left," she continued. "The doctor says I don't have very long."

I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. "What route would you like me to take?" I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, "I'm tired. Let's go now."

We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her. I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

"How much do I owe you?" she asked, reaching into her purse.

"Nothing," I said.

"You have to make a living," she answered.

"There are other passengers."

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.

"You gave an old woman a little moment of joy," she said. "Thank you."

I squeezed her hand, then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.

I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly, lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life. We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware—beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.


peace.

**well crap**

i've been tagged. thanks Anne. way to make me update my blog.

...and off we go...

1. i count the towels as i put them in the washer. usually 7 or 8.
2. it drives my nuts if my car isn't parked perfectly straight in the driveway.
3. messes/disorganization in my house drives me crazy but my computer area/scraproom is a nightmare and it doesn't really bug me.
4. i love math. i did really well at it in high school and took calculus for the term that i was at OSU.
5. i don't consider a movie worth seeing if i have or will have missed the trailers. those are the best part.
6. i tend to get caught in ruts. for example right now i am addicted to crime shows such as Criminal Minds, Bones, The Closer, and Without a Trace. thank goodness for TIVO.
7. i am deathly afraid of bats. (there is a long story behind it) now that i think of it i had bat issues when i was a kid at my grandma's house so maybe i have always had this fear. hmmm...

...now i have to tick off 7 other bloggers (sorry guys)...
Danea
Sara
Kati
Kambria

i'm lame. that's all i have that are close enough for me to do this tagging stuff to. i might offend everyone else.

peace.

**as i live and breathe**

she posts!! i know, i know it's a miracle. life has been strange lately and this has seemed like a chore so it kind of got put to the side for a while.

back to school got kicked off on a positive note. both kids were totally ready to head back. cj is a social fanatic and he totally missed all of his friends (read girls here). he also missed the weight room and has decided to wrestle this year. he met with all of the coaches and was thrilled to learn that he doesn't have to cut his hair....he just has to wear a funny hat-thing under the other funny hat-thing that wrestlers wear. it's going to be strange going to a sporting event rather than a choir concert. talk about opposite ends of the spectrum.

bailey was excited to go back because this is her senior year and that in and of itself is just way too cool. plus she is kind of a nerd (like me) and likes school. btw, she is taking HealthOc and one of the things that they get to do is go to the hospital and see a cadaver. i had her ask her teacher if i could tag along and she said yes. i am so excited. based on the schooling that i am doing and the fact that i have always wanted to be a nurse this is right up my alley. i can't wait!

angela took bailey's senior pictures last week. they turned out great. towards the end of the session i added cj to a few of the pictures and then had her 2 best friends in for a couple pictures as well. as soon as i get the final prints i will post some pics. angela is amazing and she was so fun to spend the time with.

i know this is kind of nerdy but the kids and i have been doing jigsaw puzzles at the dining room table. we get the 1000 piece eye-spy ones and they are a lot of fun. it's kind of "our thing" and i think that's really important right now. it's so funny to see the kids' friends jump on in when they are over...needless to say we get them put together at a pretty good rate with all the help.

speaking of the kids' friends, my house has officially become the house. a lot of the time i have 5 teenagers here making a lot of noise. but you know what? i love it. cj and his friends are playing "halo live" and the girls do what girls do. sometimes they get in the car and make a dutch bros. run...i wish starbucks was open later because i am not a dutch bros fan. all i can say it thank goodness for the little caesar's $5 pizzas. they are a lifesaver. the $5 footlongs from subway aren't too bad either.

well, i cut my hair. short. did i say short? if not i will say it. short. here is a pic of my inspiration. we are still tweaking it a bit and i go in next week for a color and touch-up cut.












this is vicki boutin. she is a great scrapbooker and i read her blog regularly. as far as i can tell she lives in canada which is a bummer because she teaches scrapbooking classes. i would really like to take a class from her. here's a link to her blog. check out her scrap room. it's too cute. vicki boutin i did copy her in the vinyl wall art of the owl on the wall and the birds above the door. they are so cute.

did i mention that i have a fat dog with acid reflux?? yeah, ummm how weird is that? jack apparently is about 4 pounds too heavy. dr. reid says you should be able to his ribs. yikes! he put jack on an extremely bland dog food and i give him a 10mg Pepcid in the morning and one in the evening. bug is queen of the "i am going to itch my face off" so we have her on some kind of cortizone/prednizone mix. pugs are a pain in the ass. seriously. if it wasn't for this....





















i am really missing this girl right now. funny how a plane ticket is all that separates us from the laughter and long talks over coffe and tea. bummer.





















well, the divorce is coming along. i didn't realize all that is involved in separating items. when both of your names are on everything it takes a lot of time to change all of that. the power bill, the gas bill, the phone bill, the cable bill, and the list goes on. i am doing just fine. it's an adjustment but it's the right adjustment.

Some think it's holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it's letting go. --Sylvia Robinson

peace.

**lovin' me some Big Brother**

Which Big Brother Houseguest Are You?

Created by BuddyTV

**happy, happy, happy**

17th birthday my sweet girl. i love you to the moon and back.






















this is Bailey at the top of the Eiffel Tower this July on her trip to Europe. she is so brave...i would never had climbed that thing.

















and this is Bailey in Monet's Garden. she said his house is the most amazing home....and she loved his yellow kitchen.

i hope you have an amazing year!

peace.

**why are we ALWAYS portrayed this way?!**

click the following link and scroll down through the pictures WITHOUT reading any text. can you pick out the oregonians??

total stereotyping

do i look anything like that? i don't know ONE person that looks like that. they are frickin' bee keepers for goodness sakes!! sure,people like that are out there but i think every state might have people like that. there isn't anything wrong with looking/living like that but oregon is always shown that way. chaps my ass!!

now, mind you, i will watch the show just to see if they will edit out the times when these 2 are smokin' some good ole' oregon-grown weed! and so will everyone else i am sure.

peace.

**cannot wait for this one**

i love meg ryan and debra messing. what a cast!

**i am so in the middle of this right now!!**

**my name is susanne and**

i am addicted to following blog links.

basic grey fabric
ice cream scoop
mixed tape
makes me wanna have a party
would go perfect in my kitchen
been into owls lately & love these
mad scrappin' skills that make me want to scrap
everyone needs one of these in their town

and other times i find on blogs things that hit me to my core. as i go through my divorce this really speaks to me and lets me be OK with it all.

i eat.
i sleep.
i scrap.
i love.
i refresh.
i drink.
i watch.
i waste.
i make.
i destroy.
i find.
i lose.
i seek.
i search.
i try.
i fail.
i am.
what i am.


peace.

**mexican proverb**

the house alone does not rest upon the ground; but upon a woman.

**a passport and 1000 tears**

i thought i was going to be able to be strong but the tears just came. at one point she told me to quit crying. right now she is 3 hours into a 14 hour flight from St. Paul MN to Europe. be safe baby. love mom.

**spoiled much??**

my mom took pity on me and got the kids a working computer. i guess she got sick of me freaking out that the kids were going to break my computer with all my pictures on it. now they have a rockin' computer that's better than mine. do you think they would notice if i switched them out during the night?

my baby is leaving for Europe on sunday. i can't believe i am going to pack her up and put her on an international flight to another country. i am so scared. speaking of packing...i kill myself every time i travel to keep my ONE bag under 50 pounds. for international flights your checked bag AND your carry-on together cannot weigh more than 44 pounds. that girl is gonna' have to wear the same frickin' clothes every day. LOL

i finally got my "library" so to speak of medical books that i need to help with the actual transcribing of doctor's notes. it was like the first day of college when you go buy your books. it was so cool! i was/am one of those geeks that loved the first day of school, school supplies, and buying the stacks of books that you needed when you registered for college. my favorite line in any movie is in you've got mail when tom hanks says to meg ryan in his email "i would send you a bouquet of newly sharpend pencils if i knew your name and address." go ahead, call me a geek and laugh. i'll wait.

anyway, here are the books i got:

• Medical Abbreviations & EPONYMS


• Davis's Drug Guide for Nurses


• Taber's Cyclopedic Medical Dictionary


• The AAMT Book of Style for Medical Transcription


• a really good regular dictionary

swoon....

the weather has been gorgeous lately. it really helps my mood. i have been fussing over my planters and they are so awesome. except one that i think i burned a little but with too much fertilizer. oops. my dad came over on sunday with his super edger and made the front lawn look great. at least the edges look great. the color is awful. if i have to kill and reseed that bad boy i am going to stick needles in my eyes!

see the progress on one of my planters? i am so proud of this baby! i just look at it and smile! i think the big pink geranium in the middle is my favorite.

peace.

**happy 4th of july**

**they grow up so fast**

photo courtesy of caitlin rice
engrish.com

**krinkles?**

i stumbled across this line when i followed a link that was posted on a friend's site to Dept.56. i LOVE these!




















and these.




















and i need these to go with those.



















and for my cake divas Sara and Anne these are to die for!!






















as per usual they aren't cheap!

peace.

**he switches it up so dang fast!**

**freddie freddie froo froo**

i will miss you....terribly.

fred was an amazing cat. gorgeous. friendly. cuddly. the best nap partner around. we will all miss him. he died today.

**wipeout!! you just gotta' watch**

OMG!! the kids and i were laughing so hard at this show on tuesday night. it is the best in a long time. it's like an hour-long AFV clip! we keep going to abc.com and watching the episode again.

**sometimes you just gotta' laugh**

i thought i would share this with you. it cracks me up every time i see it.

oh to dream...

and the yearly exams begin

HAPPY 40th BIRTHDAY DEAR!

happy birthday sweet boy

look who's 15 today!

lost her today

the best grandma in the world.

and so begins june

birthdays, grad days, father's days, and wedding days make my money go away! and it all starts to-day!!

• 6/1 my neice graduates


• 6/5 my dad's birthday


• 6/6 my birthday


• 6/9-6/14 visit danea (this rocks!)


• 6/15 father's day


• 6/21 cj's birthday


• 6/22 berto's mom's birthday


• 6/24 berto's birthday


• there's a wedding in there some where but i can't find the invite

i think i need to make a run for my local hallmark store! july looks a lot like this as well. plus, this july bailey is headed to europe for 14 days. i am starting to have panic attacks already. putting her on that plane is going to be one of the hardest things i have had to do yet.

the other day i had the urge to take a few pics of the things that were making me smile these days as i walked around my house.

i am loving this awesome potpourri and glass dish i got at pier one.

i finally got a cover for my coveted red kitchen aide mixer.







my mom decided that i needed a couple new appliances in my kitchen. this is the stove top/oven. it had a warming drawer on the bottom (which i never knew i needed but let me tell you i do!). it is also convection so i have to learn how to use that. i hear good things about it.






this is the other appliance i got. a dishwasher that is from the heavens i am pretty sure. i love this thing! i could put a pot roast on a plate in there and every thing would come out clean!











and finally, my fruit rack that is in the center of my island. the red apples are fake but the rest is real. this is my favorite decoration in my kitchen. i have had it for 5 years and i still love it. they say that when something in your home stops making you smile it's time to let it go. i think this one is a keeper for me.








we are getting pretty close to having the outside done. just some edging to define new lines in the back yard, re- planting some perennials that we lost, hanging out baskets, and spreading fresh bark dust. i love it when it's done and all i have to do is water, fertilize, and prune/dead-head.

my herbs. clockwise: parsley, cilantro, basil, and thyme. the parsley is actually the wrong type. my mom picked up the right one and i just have to go get it.







this is my favorite tomato. it produces cherry-sized orange tomatoes that are sweet like fruit. we all like them and i am the only one in the house who likes tomatoes. my mom's dog eats them of her plant so she has to plant hers out of reach.

my seating bench with 3 planters. mom plants these up for me every year and they get huge! by august only one person can sit on either side and is usually touched by a plant on one side or the other.

one of my two deck planters. these are huge and end up trailing down to the deck.


ole' pokey here is still working on school. i never thought i would take so long. i guess my inner procrastinator is finally showing itself. i am actually transcribing now, using the foot pedal and listening to doctors dictate. i like it other than when they use actual "medicines". it's like i should know all of the medications out there and know how to spell them. not to mention they don't sound anything like they are spelled. my scores are good but that is where i get knocked down on my work. i am still struggling with that part. uugh.

my grandpa fell and broke his pelvis so he had been in the hospital. he had some complitcations that arose from that so they put him in a nursing home so he can get physical therapy. he seems to be responding well. my grandma, whom i adore, is about to pass. she hasn't had anything to eat or drink for at least 10 days and her kidneys have shut down. i wish God would take her so she wouldn't have to suffer anymore. i know my grandpa is waiting for her. i will miss her terribly. i hope she passes peacefully. say a prayer.

this this the last full week of school. the kids have 8 1/2 days left and they are dying for it to be over! bailey has some killer finals and she is stressing out. i have been emailing cj's teachers like crazy and getting him in to work with them after school and at lunch to make sure all his work is in so we don't end up with any Fs. cross your fingers.

mom and dad have started their summer ritual of spending thursdays thru sundays in Newport with the fishing clan. it makes them so happy and relaxes them. dad fishes with his buddies and mom hangs out with the wives. they head up to Lincoln City and hit the outlet mall. dad has been catching fish already. we get a lot of fresh fish and fresh crab this time of year and it is great.

well, that's all for me right now. i just wanted to check in with you.

peace.

adorable story

i found THIS on another blog and thought it was so sweet.

peace out.