beginnings and endings

it's been a strange week to say the least. it's odd how you wake up on a Monday morning and think you know how your week will play out. just the same old things. you just might be wrong.

roberto got a job at the Target Distribution Center in Tangent. it tides us over until he gets on with the state, city, or county. he has at least 6 applications in right now so we are hoping something will come through soon. try, try, and try again some more. i just hope he gets a Target discount!!

i started my job at the Wine Depot on Tuesday. i enjoyed it a lot more than i thought. it was a whirlwind trying to absorb all the information that i could. i suck at remembering names so i was constantly repeating everyone's names as i walked behind them. they probably wanted to punch my lights out.

so all is well and then BAM! life throws up a ball of emotion that sends you spinning. my maternal grandmother, Oma as i called her, passed away in the early hours of Wednesday. she has been in a nursing home since May and i knew that it wouldn't be long but you know what they say, "you're never really ready for it". i wasn't good a visiting her. i would get so emotional and depressed when i did that it was so hard to go. pretty selfish now that i think about it. i did get to say a few last things to her. i thanked her for being the one to buy me my first bra. for being the one to buy me my first pair of high heels and teaching me to walk in them. for being the one to teach me to cross my legs and to sit down gracefully and not the "plop" down. i told her how i remembered on Wednesday nights she would let me comb out her really long hair and try to put it back up "my way" because she knew that Thursday was the day she went in and got her hair washed and set. i told her i remembered playing dice with her and taking picnic lunches to Opa during the summer. i think she heard me when i talked to her. i know that she is happy and pain free now. Opa kissed her and told her he would see her in Heaven. i believe he will. we will bury her tomorrow. all i can do now is stand as strong as i can next to my Mom and give her all of the love and support that i can. she needs me and i will without a doubt be there for her.

after losing my grandma that morning i had to go to work. it was my 2nd day and there was no way i could not go. it was a long day and i thought a lot about my Mom and how she was doing. i got to do a few more new things a the Deli and am getting pretty good at the things i learned on the first day. i will say one thing....making my own latte' rocks!

Bailey was inducted into the National Honor Society. Roberto and i are so proud of her. it was a short ceremony where each inductee signed their name into the book, lit their candle, and received a pin. this is one of those things that i am proud to say she got from me. i was in the NHS, too. now we are pin-pals. sad humor, i know.



















today Bailey got her Oregon Driver's License. talk about beginnings and endings all in one sentence! she begins a whole new part of being a young adult. and i end having to take her happy-ass everywhere!! ha!! seriously though, it scares me to death.













there was no school today nor will there be school on Monday. it's the end of the first 6 weeks. i think CJ did pretty good this time. i sure hope so. it seems like he has been trying hard. plus he has a study hall this semester and i think he gets a lot done in there. if it helps i need to make sure he gets one every semester if possible. i would rather him have a study hall than underwater basket weaving.

here is a wonderful picture of my son 2 years ago this month for Halloween. his grandpa took him to Hooters to get a girls' t-shirt for his costume and the waitress gave him her shorts since they don't sell those. i promptly washed them and this was what he walked the streets looking like that night. his friend was a stripper. what guys won't do to get girls to pay attention to them.




















speaking of CJ, when i got the call Wednesday morning about my grandma i started to cry really bad. the kids were getting ready for school and Roberto was still asleep. CJ doesn't show a lot of affection, being a teenage boy and all, but he went into the bathroom, got a cool wet washcloth, brought it to me, and held me and let me cry until he had to leave for the bus. i have often wondered if my sweet boy was still in there and now i can quit wondering.

this reminds me of how my heart has been breaking for my dear friend, Pam. her son, Noah, made a decision to move Israel to attend school. she is still reeling from the change and misses him terribly. Pam, you are incredibly brave. i know things will get easier. hang in there. i love you tons.

peace.